Canada Hates Me

Canadian bananas are horrible! Let me clarify myself, bananas that you can buy in this country are bad! That's not to say that Costa Rica doesn't grow amazing bananas it's just that there is definitely something lost when they have to sit on a boat forever. How do they expect me to eat something so sub-par when I know what a banana really should taste like? It's very frustrating to me just how bad they really are because before living in the Dominican Republic I enjoyed a nice Costa Rican banana purchased at the local supermarket. I have been ruined. Ruined I tell you and I don't think that it will ever get better.

Let's take for example the recent Albertan weather. Rain, rain and more rain. I am miserable here and freezing cold which is a phenomenon that I have not hither to had to deal with. I mean, I am Canadian! I'm suppose to like my cold weather. In the words of my Dad, it puts hair on your chest. (First of all, I don't think it is scientifically proven that it does and if it does, even more reason to hate the cold weather!) Not to mention that now I have a cold. Great. What ever happened to summer? When I realized that I was going to get back to Canada in August I was fine with it. I figured that I could just easy my way into cold weather but I guess I was wrong. I love Canada. I am proud to be a Canadian but this country sure does make it hard to love.

For the last two years, I have been the only Canadian in my mission. Out of almost 200 missionaries, I was the only Canadian and I represented us with pride. How does Canada repay me? Horrible tasting bananas and cold weather. Thanks a lot Canada. After everything I did for you, you couldn't have stayed warm a little longer? I guess on the bright side, I do have a hairier chest now. 

Brown Backing

Well with the NFL season right on the cusp of commencement, I figured I'd come out of my Cleveland Browns fan closet and make it known to all my love for the Cleveland Browns. It all started about 3 years ago when I was invited by my good friend Garth to choose a team to start the new NFL season. I figured that out of all of the teams in the NFL, the team that needed my cheering power the most were the Cleveland Browns. Let's just be honest, they have never had a really amazing season, that is since they were reinstated in the league. They have never, ever won a Superbowl or really even come close for that matter but what they do have is a rich history of near success, a huge fan base of some of the craziest people out there and a shear hatred for the Pittsburgh Steelers who in fact, are a better team than we are as seen by all of their Superbowl wins. I think that is what fuels the hatred so much, it's a whole lot easier to hate someone when they are just better than you.

Anyways, with that said, I love the Cleveland Browns, even with all of their shortcomings and weirdness they are one of the teams with the potential for the most improvement in the league. Really, they have nothing to loose and that is what I love most about them. It makes it so easy to root for a team that can't get much worse than they are now. Honestly, I don't know what to think of the team this year but I do know that they are bound to make the league and especially their division just a little more interesting. This year, the AFC north division is a scary one with arguably some of the best looking teams in the NFL. The Ravens definitely are looking like they could be a powerful team this year and the Bengals have made some nice moves in the off season to put together a killer receiving core. All of this adds up to disaster for the Browns. Do I think they are going to win the Superbowl? No. Do I even think they are going to make it to the playoffs? Probably not but they could mess some things up for some other teams. I would be thrilled if they could pull something out and I really do hope they do but it isn't looking good for them.

I am going to give the Cleveland Browns the benefit of the doubt and give them 7 wins on the season. I am going to say that they are going to win both of their games against the Steelers so if nothing else that will make this year successful. Go get 'em you crazy Browns! I've already got the playoff beard started but if it is any indication how the beard is growing, then I'd be worry.

Joseph in the Grove

I have come to the conclusion that all cool people at one point in their lives or another have had a mustache. Just look at my dad for example, Gary Garner believe it or not at one point had a mustache. I have seen the pictures. He looked like Captain Kangaroo which brings me to another point. Captain Kangaroo was such a stud. Other Captains of notable mention are such people as Captain Crunch. People used to say that I run like Mario, why not have facial hair like him? You see all of the amazing people that have mustaches. Why am I missing out? 

Mustache Proof

So, after much deliberation and consideration on the matter I have finally decided to have a go at facial hair. I know what you are probably thinking though, can you even grow facial hair? I finally have proof that, indeed I can and that when I have an amazing mustache you'll all have to eat your words.

You see what I mean! Case closed! Next stop, Tom Selleck! What's that? You don't see anything? You don't believe that I am going to have the best mustache ever? So you need more proof than that? Alright fine, you asked for it. This photo has not be indoctrinated or changed in anyway, believe it or not.

Alright it's a little pathetic but still I have a little bit of a mustache and that's really good enough for me. One day it will something great I promise. I think that this whole mustache thing is really just out of spite. I really can't think of a better reason why

More Mustache Proof

to grow a stache. I'll keep you updated on how it grows in. I am frankly quite excited about it all. We'll see how it turns out. 

Now you know ladies... okay, maybe the lady folk don't dig the mustache as much as they used to but I am hoping to bring it back to vogue.